Looking for some college sports jive talk with a Florida shine on it? Well, there’s nowhere better to head to for the fiercest in online smack talk and ridicule than the spiritual home of internet dissing and mockery, Facebook. Well, there is… here. We present for you 9 of the very best examples of the University of Florida dominating their Florida State University rivals on the world’s biggest social network. It’s Gators vs. Seminoles and we’re warning you – it aint pretty!
1. Iron Man and Refuses to Iron Man
You don’t always need a clever joke or witty comment to accompany your pee-taking Facebook photo. The Gators fan that posted this picture knew that no words could make these Seminoles fans looks any more ridiculous than they already do. Look at them. We bet the guy in his underpants and cape thought he’d win the ‘Worst Superhero Costume’ award at this tailgate party. He didn’t account for Iron Man turning up in his pajamas, though.
2. * scratches *
Jameis Winston has, shall we say, something of a ‘chequered’ history. To put it politely. But his recent arrest for shoplifting crab legs was just crazy. Not to mention shellfish. Geddit? ‘Shellfish’/’selfish’… Yeah. Luckily, Gators fans are capable of better crab-based jokes than us.
3. Sorry-ida State University
Nice and simple, this one. This Photoshop-savvy Facebooker has made a few subtle alterations to the FSU logo, replacing the traditional Seminole head for one of a crying Danny Trejo. No, of course not – that’s not a crying Danny Trejo. Danny Trejo isn’t even capable of crying. Everyone knows that.
Hey, look – we’re no scientists but we’re pretty sure that energy doesn’t equal Florida State University over ‘sucks’. Still, who are we to argue with Albert Einstein, huh? As the great man once said, “Concepts that have proven useful in ordering things easily achieve such authority over us that we forget their earthly origins and accept them as unalterable givens. Go Gators!” Whoever posted this picture on Facebook clearly knows their scientists.
5. Pinching Crab Legs
The Jameis Winston jokes just keep on a-coming on Facebook, with this amusing redesign of the FSU sweater. We still can’t get over Winston stealing those crab legs. It was just, so… what’s the word? Shellfish!
We’re not even sorry.
6. Blue balls
This Gators-supporting dog can laugh about Seminoles’ coloured nuts stopping them from jerking off, but he hasn’t got opposable thumbs – meaning he’s never been able to pull it off. Jeez… No wonder he’s pulling that face. Still, if the depressed and sexually tense dog subtext doesn’t do it for you, just enjoy the joke about the Seminoles sucking.
7. Jesus Christ!
We must’ve missed the chapter in the Bible where Our Lord passes judgement on Florida State University. Hang on, let’s just check…
Oh, yeah – here it is. ‘Gators 21:17 – And The Lord said unto Will Muschamp, “Noles blow, man. Noles blow.”
8. The Tide is turning
Hang on, wouldn’t that just leave you with an ‘R’…?
Seminoles fan asks the question ‘Y suck ming sems are bad ass?’ Well, we think it’s a question. It could be a statement. He could’ve just mashed his keyboard for all we know. After all, they’re not the brightest, are they?
Visit the Gators marketplace now and treat yourself to something snappy!